Change — Jodi Yogini

Today is Spring Equinox and a super full moon. As I look out the window in awe at the beauty of nature, I am reminded that life supports us in all that we want if we just follow our own inner guidance and trust in the heart. While it is often difficult to embrace change, change is the only thing that allows us to grow. If we can embrace the unknown, life will support us abundantly.

For me, this has proven true. In 2015, after returning from a trip to Turkey, I set the intention to quit my 9-5 job. I didn’t know how that would come about, as I loved my job. Why would I leave a good thing? It didn’t make sense, but I wanted to be free to travel.

At first I thought it would come about by working online so pursued a life of ‘digital nomadism.’ I searched high and low for an online job, I hired business coaches, I traveled all the way to Bali to learn how to code a website, I brainstormed and researched all the possibilities. However, when doing this, nothing stuck. I was forcing something that would not come.

This is what ‘learning to code’ in Bali looks like. Mt. Rinjani, Lombok in Indonesia taken in June 2016.

In the late fall of 2016, I decided to follow my heart. I did not know what called me to apply to a yoga teacher training (YTT) in Bali, it just felt like something I needed to do. I did not want to teach yoga. I wanted to learn about yoga, but I had no desire to teach. Having been to Bali that summer, I did not even like the island so had no desire to return. But for whatever reason, that specific yoga teacher training in Bali called to me. I applied, and was accepted with open arms. I remember reading that acceptance email and feeling an intense excitement, that this was it. It was time. I was going to quit my job to travel. I had saved up money and was ready to go.

At the last minute, I decided to be ‘safe’ for various reasons and took a six month sabbatical from the office. Since I had been there for so long and was such an amazing worker ;-), they approved it. The thing is, I had loved my job at one point. But after returning from Turkey, when usually I’d be happy to return home from a trip, this time the first thought upon entering my beloved Dupont Circle apartment was, “how can I get rid of my stuff?” I realized there was more to life than sitting behind a computer for eight hours or more of the day. Life was meant to be explored! Lived! Enjoyed! My life was no longer my job. I was ready to fulfill the desires of my heart. My thinking was that I would continue to research ways to make money online and by the time the six months was up, I’d be a successful digital nomad ready to quit my job. But life had something else in store.

Yoga Teacher Training closing ceremony in Ubud, Bali in April 2017.

I started my sabbatical excursion in Myanmar, then went to Vietnam for over a month, thereafter landing in Bali for my April 2017 yoga teacher training. What happened at that YTT and in Bali was nothing I ever expected. The reviews of the training all claimed that it was life changing, but it’s tough to put into words just how life changing the YTT really was. During the whole training, I wasn’t believing anything I was learning. I was in the clutch of western conditioning. I didn’t even believe that the body was energy, which was the entire premise of the YTT. Which was fine - I went to learn about yoga, not necessarily to teach or believe what I was learning.

One of many sunrises in Bagan, Myanmar. February 2017

Bali is a very spiritual place. What I wasn’t expecting was to experience some of what I learned in the YTT. I started having very powerful meditations and went to see healers that brought experiences that my logical western mind would not have been able to grasp previously. After that, I was changed. My perspective on life was completely altered. I had an awakening. I was able to view life from the 5D soul perspective as an energetic being rather than being grounded on the physical 3D plane, as I had been my entire life.

That’s when my meditations and then everyone I seemed to meet confirmed that I should stop ‘doing’ and start ‘being.’ I stopped looking for that online job, sitting in front of my computer at coworking spaces, and feeling the need to do things. I started being, living my life from the heart. While I had initially intended to travel the remaining three months of the sabbatical, I was so moved by Bali that I stayed there the entire time. I ended up living in Bali for four months, four magical months that changed my life.

I went back to the US in August of 2017 with an entirely new perspective on life. Still wanting to quit my job to travel, and intending to do so, I felt more at ease. More able to watch things from above, using witness consciousness and not attaching to an outcome…just free flowing and taking life’s ups and downs with more grace and ease than I had before my trip to Bali. Even though I still intended to quit to travel, life was good. I was able to spend time with family and friends, making small changes but changes nonetheless that got me slowly but surely toward my goal.

I had left my beloved Dupont Circle apartment behind when I went on the sabbatical, moving all of my remaining things to my sister’s house in the DC suburbs. Upon return from Bali, I moved in with my sister for the next eight months until I figured out my next destination. Still at my 9-5 job, in March 2018 I applied for full-time telework so that I could move to my hometown in Connecticut to save money living with and helping my parents. To me, moving home with the rents was the last stop before my launch into the world.

While I didn’t originally intend to live with my parents for a full year, life happened. Just after moving home, in April 2018 I set off on an almost two month journey (working remotely) to the west coast to visit friends and Hawaii to attend a Ram Dass retreat. Like Bali, I did not expect to fall in love with Maui’s energy. But that is what happened. Not only did I fall in love with Maui, I also fell in love with my partner. My main support in this endeavor, the catalyst to this next phase of my life, and who I am forever grateful to and for. Thank you Jason for all that you are and for your support and love as I make this life transition.

At the end of my two months of travel, I was forced to leave my love on Maui and return to the mainland. I was intending to either quit my job in the fall of 2018 or to apply to work remotely full-time in Maui. Opting for the latter, I applied for the move and shockingly was denied. Again, this was my sign. I was now forced to quit something that hadn’t made my heart sing in years. While initially shocked and thrown into a fearful panic, having been reliant on my paycheck and the 9-5 lifestyle my entire life, reality set in. This was the universe’s way of telling me what I knew I needed to do. I was not meant to be at that job any longer. I wasn’t yet sure what I was meant to do, but I knew it was not that.

After six tough months away from my partner, I went back for a month long visit in January 2019 and confirmed my desire to be with Jason and to move to Maui. In mid-February we started to look for places again, and upon that initial search the perfect opportunity presented itself. At first, I was not thrilled by the opportunity. Basically, we will be living in our own small home on a farm with seven other beautiful souls. I initially felt that the rent was high for the small size of the home. However, things were moving…Jason had basically already told them we wanted it, even though I was a bit on the fence and hadn’t committed. All it took to convince me was an introduction email from one of the owners of the farm. For whatever reason, her amazingly welcoming, loving Maui energy convinced me easily and naturally. Suddenly, I was so excited about the opportunity that I barely slept that first week. I was in, 100%. It felt so right, like the perfect fit. This time I was not forcing anything….it all just flowed into a beautiful reality. Unexpectedly, I felt no hesitation or fear in giving my notice at work. It just felt right.

During that first week of extreme excitement, I realized that I had set an intention to live this farm lifestyle during my time in Bali. Based on my yoga training, I intuitively realized that human beings are meant to live off the land, away from city life and technology that prevents us from realizing our higher selves and vibrating at a high level. We are meant to live heart-centered lives, living and eating healthy and naturally, not being surrounded by radiation, harmful chemicals, and other free radicals that dim our inner guidance and truth. While not seeming feasible at the time, I realized I wanted to be one with nature and live off the land away from city life entirely. I knew deep down that was how I wanted to live, yet had no idea how to do it.

View from the top of Haleakala, the volcano on Maui, taken May 2018. Haleakala is known as the “heart chakra of the world.” I can vouch.

When I met Jason, I saw that he was indeed following this lifestyle already. While initially thinking we were way too different and I could not live as he was, I was enamored with his way of life, how he flowed so easily and naturally with very little, yet being happy living in Mother Maui’s energy and with all the other beautiful souls living on island. While I had been manifesting a soul connection for a few months prior to meeting him, I never anticipated that it would be so easy and feel so right. My logical mind told me there was no way we could be together; our lifestyles were just too different. But my heart told me otherwise. As I told him when we were on a trip to Kauai wrapped in his arms, “I feel like I’m home.” Home with him, our souls connected despite external circumstances. As it felt when I gave notice at work, being with Jason felt right.

So at this point, I have not only given notice at work, but I have done an ‘east coast farewell tour,’ starting in New York City, then in DC for the week, and ending in Philadelphia. It has been bittersweet saying my goodbyes…both work related and with friends. It’s brought happy and sad tears; life as I know it is about to drastically change. At 40 years old, I am about to embark on the biggest change of my life. I’m leaving my comfortable Federal job to become a farmer. But why not? Life is short and meant to be lived [by ‘life’ I mean this lifetime specifically ;-)].

So what will we do on Maui? We’ll be living on an organically tended veggie and fruit farm, living off the land. We are responsible for tending the gardens and then selling the produce and creating value added products to sell at farmers markets and beyond. The potential here seems limitless. One of the owners of the farm intends to start holding retreats on the land, so I plan to offer my yoga, meditation, and Reiki to the retreat participants. Jason and I will also be the cooks during the retreats. As one of my bosses recently said “Jodi, I’m afraid you’ll be doing too much.” ha! Jason prefers that I go on temporary vacation for at least a few months while I regroup from mainland living and get back into balance. So we will see how this flows. And yes, I do still intend to travel.

While this opportunity feels right, I have no idea what the future holds. I no longer will have my ‘stable’ 9-5 government paycheck or benefits. I’ll have to live more modestly than I’m used to. I will also be learning to live and work with someone full-time. Whatever happens, I know it is meant to be. Life has brought these opportunities into my life for a reason. I feel as though I am totally in flow. While it will be sad to leave my family, friends, and coworkers on the east coast, I know that I will see everyone again soon and will stay in touch with those I am meant to keep in touch with.

So in conclusion, I share this story in the hopes that others will look within, look inside for their own inner guidance and truth so that they too can follow their hearts and intuition. The western world teaches us to dim that inner light, the inner truth so that we will conform to how the powers that be think things “should” be. But that is their view. You do not have to follow that. Follow your heart. It will not lead you astray. Embrace change, follow the light. While your deepest desires may seem unattainable, set the intention. You don’t need to know how you will get there. Just know that you want it, and it will eventually come. It may have taken me four years to get to this point, and that’s okay. There is no need to rush what is not in flow. When the time is right, change will come. Embrace change, embrace the unknown. Just be. It’s the only way to live.

Much love and many many mahalos for all the beautiful abundance to come,

Jodi

* Cover photo taken in the Bamboo Forest, Seven Sacred Pools, Kipahulu, HI in May 2018

Some parting words: Over the years I’ve noticed that I listen to particular songs on repeat many many times, and I tend to equate whatever life event is occurring at that time with the song. For this big life transition, Trevor Hall has recently been on repeat. I was lucky enough to be introduced to his music by a friend in New York City, who invited me down for the show. Not having any clue who this guy was but learning that he was also a Maharaj-ji devotee, I bought a ticket with very little research (unlike me). So glad I did! After the show, and listening to him on the bus from NYC to Washington, DC during my east coast farewell tour, I discovered he has a song about Haleakala. I think this song explains the draw to the land well. So I’d like to leave you with this little piece of goodness. Enjoy!